Book Review: The Power of Trauma Informed Yoga
Recently, I realized I needed to start reading again—there’s something about writing truths I haven’t fully embodied in a while that pushes me to do better. I’ve also been neglecting several books I’ve collected over the years, all relevant to this blog. 😅 I decided to begin with The Power of Trauma-Informed Yoga by Sue Berman. Friends, this is *the* book I wish had existed when I began my healing journey. It’s so well-crafted that it inspired me to start reviewing books on this here blog. I truly believe anyone on a self-help or healing journey can benefit from the wisdom Berman expertly weaves through her anecdotes and insights as both a trauma-informed yoga instructor and someone who has personally benefited from the practice.
Berman begins by ensuring readers have a solid framework for discussing trauma, emphasizing the importance of a shared vocabulary for this sensitive and multifaceted topic. I anticipated these early chapters would be dry, as I’m not a patient reader and don’t love revisiting familiar concepts. However, Berman presents the material in a clear, concise way that makes it easy to follow, even if you're already familiar with the subject. I appreciate the thorough explanation of trauma, including the various ways it manifests, along with insightful tips on managing triggers. I also appreciate the stories she weaves into the book to underscore the humanness of trauma.
Once we’re all sharing the same language, Berman shares her personal journey with trauma, healing, and the power of trauma-informed yoga before explaining what trauma-informed yoga is. I don’t want to spoil her powerful story, not even a little for the sake of explanation, but I will say that I believe the trauma she describes is less common than what we usually see discussed in these spaces. Once again, she lays out the information clearly and concisely. Berman even provides a helpful chart differentiating between “traditional yoga” and trauma-informed yoga. I put "traditional yoga" in quotes because when we say traditional yoga in the West, we’re often referring to a type of yoga that is actually the most modern form and I’m not *actually* sure which she means, but I digress. She goes on to further explain how specific aspects of yoga help alleviate different aspects of trauma. There is even an entire chapter dedicated to breath!
Sue Berman spends the rest of the book offering tips on setting up safe spaces to practice, highlighting the importance of being mindful and compassionate to ourselves and others. Additionally, Berman offers several asanas (or postures) and how to cue them, making this book a helpful resource for both individuals interested in practicing on their own and those already working in the field who may want to offer trauma-informed yoga themselves. Overall, I think Berman has done an excellent job of providing a solid starting point for anyone who has experienced trauma and is interested in yoga but doesn’t know where to begin. This book truly illustrates, as its title suggests, The Power of Trauma-Informed Yoga.
10/10 - Do recommend
Read this book, and love yourself better,
Mia Marie
Beyond the Plate: Media
While my peers were consuming The Kardashians and Jackass, I was learning about tarot, beginner spells, and the occult. This labeled me as weird; I was different. It was clear that I didn’t have the same priorities and values as my peers. I was also smoking, skipping class, and dating fully grown men. This was middle school, by the way. While my peers were worrying about name-brand clothing, makeup, and perfect hair, I was concerned with manifesting, communicating with the dead, and finding the love that I was desperately lacking at home. While my peers were watching Walking Dead and playing COD, I was working a full-time job, learning Excel, fractions and ethics online. (I was, of course, still trying to find love on the poisoned lips of men.) While my peers were consuming Game of Thrones, I was consuming Christianity and the history of religions. (GoT was in the last season by the time a co-worker forced me to watch it, and YES, I am glad I watched it.) I am a culmination of the media I have consumed, just like you. As a result, I have always played a part in “othering” myself by having a different perspective and different values. I have also spent so much time googling pop-culture references in an effort to fit in. “You’ve never seen insert cult classic I simply can’t believe it!” Thanks, Becky, was the 2 hours enriching? I’m never going to watch it, but since you are the third person to reference it, I will watch the clip that quote is associated with and laugh next time.
“Oh Mia, you’re sooo different. Good for you!” /s. That isn’t my point. Yes, I am different, but that was never my concern; in fact, it seemed to concern my peers more than it did me. I have always been more concerned with being comfortable in my own skin. I remember when I was in 5th grade, I did a school research paper on eating disorders. I learned a lot about bulimia and anorexia. I chose this topic because my mother and peers had been bullying me since I was in the 2nd grade about my weight. I wanted to see if an eating disorder was likely to get my mother off my back, if I’m being honest. What I found was that there was a correlation between unattainable beauty standards found in the media and eating disorders. I also found that the harm done to the body by engaging in eating disorders outweighed the harm of being overweight, almost always. Thankfully, this paper led me to understand the practices that perpetuate unattainable beauty standards and gave me a foundation to not believe every “perfect” thing I saw on the internet. I also understood that my peers were being influenced by the “perfect” models and celebrities. Many years later, I had occasion to meet a beautiful young woman who was struggling with bulimia while I was in the children's psych ward. I remember she and I spoke about her struggles, and while she was invested in all the teen magazines at the time (like books but thinner with more advertisements and pictures), the way her mother spoke about her own weight was probably the most influential. Her mother, of course, was also a victim of a society focused on unrealistic and harmful beauty standards.
I think we all know about the tricks influencers and celebrities use to appear better and perfect. Many of these celebrities and influencers will even tell you what they are using to achieve their “look,” only for it to not work for you. Maybe they’ll get you to tune in while they do a GRWM video aimed towards selling you their brand deals, or maybe they’ll sell you their workout routine, claiming you’ll have a Kim K ass, when we all know people pay for their assets. Or how about when they are selling you skincare products that are unregulated, and you have no idea what’s in them? Am I telling you not to buy makeup, skincare, or fitness stuff? No, I am asking you to be aware that almost every piece of media you engage with is designed to prop up capitalism. It is designed to sell you something. When was the last time you engaged with a piece of media and thought about the intention behind it? It’s not just products and services; it's also thoughts, ideals, and beliefs.
Mia, you are only talking about visual media, though, so my music and podcasts are safe, right? I hope you know that isn’t true. Look at how many podcasts are out there spreading harmful rhetoric. They are even selling you their thoughts and ideas. Whose ideas are you buying? Who are you tuning into? Where are they in life? How did they get there? Was it by spreading positive thoughts and ideals? Or was it by selling you fear and telling you they are the answer? Or maybe they have some real knowledge but also have some really shit takes. Or maybe the content itself is just dark and heavy. I have been consuming true crime since high school. I was traumatized by the Dahmer and Bundy atrocities while I was trying to understand serial killers long before Netflix decided to traumatize y’all with a docuseries. (I was taking college-level psych courses; it was weird but not as weird as my peers made it out to be. I still want to know who started the rumor that I had a hit list. 😂) A few years back, I was consuming a lot of true crime, like 10+ hours a day for many months, and it started to affect my mental health. It was then that I remembered my favorite YouTuber, Cayleigh Elise. For those of you that are normal, Cayleigh Elise did a lot of videos on many different things, from spooky and lore-type things to missing and murdered women, children, and Indigenous women. She is where I first learned that our Indigenous women go missing at an alarming rate. Her Jane Doe series brought attention to people that authorities had given up on. She was in this line of work for all the right reasons, but consuming hours and hours of dark content to make dark content eventually took its toll on her mental health, and she decided to leave her platform.
What about the music you listen to? How do they speak about the people you care about in your favorite songs? How are women being portrayed? How are men being portrayed? What thoughts about race are you unintentionally ingesting? Gender? Sexual identity? I was 19 when I started to notice that different music could alter the way I felt. I have always been polyjamorous, but before hearing many different genres back to back during my bar shifts, I wouldn’t have really considered it. Not only did I notice that music altered my emotional state but also that of my patrons. Of course, not every genre hits every person the same, but every person got hit by every genre. Art is supposed to make you feel something. Good artists use many tools to make you feel what they want you to feel. Everything from BPM to chords to lyrics is all designed to make you feel something. By being aware of how different genres make us feel, many of us can start taking control of our emotional well-being and our worldview.
I use rap or metal when I need to tap into rage and bluegrass when I need to tap into calm and joy. Recently, I found myself at an industrial show. A couple of the bands were pretty good, actually, but I became concerned that one of the bands I was vibing to (I can’t understand the lyrics) might have been spouting some WASP-type noise when I saw a single person in the crowd throw up a Hitler salute. I took to Google and discovered that the entire genre, and that band in particular, are often under criticism for their very pro-white-dude rhetoric. This scene is one that I have an acquaintance in, and I was telling him about the show and found out that recently, for his mental health, he had decided to switch genres and pull back on the industrial scene.
Another instance of music's impact was during a road trip with friends. We decided to create a playlist that included all our favorite songs, regardless of genre. As we drove, I noticed how the mood in the car shifted with each song. Fast-paced songs brought energy and excitement, while slower, melancholic tunes led to introspective conversations. This experience solidified my belief in the power of music to influence our emotions and interactions.
Everything we consume has a vibration. Sound, light, color—all of it is vibration and frequency. When we consider that we are more than a physical body but also an energetic body, it becomes almost natural to consider media as part of what we consume. This concept that everything is vibration can be observed in nature with the help of science. I recently came across a TikTok creator who uses a synthesizer or something and connects it to plants to allow us to hear their songs. This is part of why telling someone to go touch grass is actually such a great way to be like, “You clearly are dysregulated, please go get in touch with nature.” When we are out in nature, we are getting in touch with the various vibrations of nature. Allowing that to inform our reality makes more sense to me than allowing people who only want you for your follow, like, comment, money, etc., to inform your reality. As always, do your own research.
This became even clearer to me during my career in sales. We analyzed advertisements and marketing campaigns, breaking down the psychological tactics used to manipulate consumers. It was eye-opening to see the lengths to which companies go to sell products and the subtle ways they influence our self-perception. I learned these concepts firsthand in sales training, where understanding consumer psychology to create a sense of need and urgency was emphasized. The goal was always to close the deal, often by exploiting insecurities and desires.
Reflecting on these experiences, I realized how pervasive and powerful these techniques are. They aren't limited to commercials or product placements; they infiltrate every aspect of the media we consume. Understanding these tactics can help us become more discerning consumers and protect our mental and emotional well-being. I invite you to reflect on the media you consume daily—whether it's TV shows, music, podcasts, or social media. How does each influence your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions? Consider keeping a journal for a week to track how different forms of media impact your mood and worldview. Share your insights or any revelations you have about your media consumption journey in the comments below. Let's explore together how we can become more mindful consumers in our everyday lives.
Love,
Mia Marie
Crystals and Healing
Whenever someone finds out that I’m a little “witchy” or “woo-woo,” a common question I get asked is, “What are your thoughts on crystals?” Usually, this question is prompted by me offering some offhand herbal advice. I’ll talk more about that in later posts. This question about my thoughts on crystals is valid. On one hand, by the time these topics come up, I have usually proven myself to be a fairly rational and well-researched person. However, writing this, it does occur to me that perhaps this question isn’t always asked genuinely. Regardless of the intent, my answer is always the same: “I’m not really sure, actually.”
Early Experiences with Crystals
Crystals were one of the first tools I looked at, other than tarot and the diet connection. I was working with crystals even before Reiki and Yoga. Ultimately, I believe they helped. I am not sure that I will ever be fully convinced that it was more than a placebo effect. However, I did have some interesting experiences with crystals over the years that are undeniably correlated. I’ll share some anecdotes and some backstory about my experiences.
A Journey into Healing
When I started my journey into crystals, I had been in talk therapy and diagnosed with C-PTSD. My therapist was great, but as with many others with C-PTSD, talk therapy wasn’t much help beyond validating what I had gone through and the work I did to understand it prior to therapy. It turns out actualizing and intellectualizing aren’t the great solution I assumed them to be. This left me looking for other ways to calm my nervous system and move through life with healthy perspectives. Some other things I was working with at the time were cannabis and other mild but legal psychoactive herbs, a CBT workbook, and a homemade gratitude journal. An important piece of information that wasn’t available to me at the time was that the relationship I was in was one of the more damaging partnerships I had been in my adult life. I had been with some real winners, including a man who I quickly understood was ramping up to physical abuse and would sniff me down if I was five minutes late walking home from work in the winter. I tell you all of this to paint a picture of where I was mentally before deciding to work with crystals.
Rose Quartz: A Catalyst for Change
The first crystal I decided to work with was rose quartz. It is said to help with self-love. I KNEW I was struggling with that based on the way I would speak to myself, causing an anxiety spiral. These anxiety spirals would cause me to become hyper-controlling of my environment and lash out easily. Shortly after I started working with rose quartz, i.e., throwing a piece in my bra every day, I started to do two things that I would have never really expected me to do: yoga and meditation. It's funny, actually, because I remember when I would ask a medicine man and a self-proclaimed prophet for advice, I was often told to go within, and I would scoff. “I simply CANNOT meditate,” I would retort. My ADHD does, in fact, make achieving a meditative state more difficult, but it turns out that I can, in fact, meditate. These two things would prove to be some of the most powerful acts of self-love that I can practice for myself. Do I believe rose quartz to be responsible for this change in direction? No, not really. Do I think that the ritual act of picking up the rose quartz off of my nightstand, throwing it in my bra, and remembering to focus on self-love was a catalyst? Yes, but not necessarily the vibe of the crystal, ya know?
Picasso Stone and Creativity
Another stone I ended up working with wasn’t one I sought out exactly. I was wandering through some metaphysical shop, perusing the aisles for books and tarot cards, and my eyes landed on a stone I hadn’t seen or read about. I picked it up and bought it. I researched the Picasso Stone later and found that it was supposed to heighten creativity. I started working with the stone, though this time I believe I put it on a makeshift crystal grid of sorts on a bookshelf in my makeshift home office. Around this time, I learned how to make shower steamers. I was aiming for bath bombs, but hey, it was a fun craft. My best friend understood the assignment and perfected my vision. Together, she made and we sold 400 of our “ritual” bath bombs. (Friend, if you are reading this, I would love a bath bomb!) Here again, we have a “Was it the stone or intentional and inspired action?”
Moonstone and Relationships
The last story I’ll share about crystals for now is my moonstone story. Did you guys see the moldavite trend on TikTok? Too niche? Well, back in 2020, a bunch of folks bought moldavite and have come back telling stories about how their world got flipped on its head in what I call a tower moment. This also allowed them to build back better. I recently saw a TT alleging that moonstone is similar but for relationships. Some time early on in my crystal journey, I bought a moonstone ring. I wore this on my left index finger. I don’t know if this was “right,” and I don’t care. I don’t think that the tools and modalities we use always have to have rigid rules. If that helps you, cool, but I will continue to be my spiritual authority and would encourage you to be that for yourself. So I was in this relationship with the fella I mentioned earlier. We were a team for work, we were raising his daughter, and I was doing the lion's share of what was paying us and keeping up with the house and childcare, among cooking and hosting two separate holiday meals. The lifestyle of working from home and taking care of my house felt really nice. Unfortunately, this partner felt that because his name was on the business, he did enough. I would express needing help, and he would tell me in action that I was unworthy, just absolutely echoing my fears and internalized beliefs from childhood. This is actually why I chose moonstone. I knew the problem had to be that I was not in touch with my femininity. Clearly, I was too masculine, and that was why I was struggling to keep up with everything. My partner also questioned me about literally everything. Small decisions would require me to explain myself and result in a 10-20 minute argument. It did not help that for about six months, my mother was living with us. My mental health was... not great. At one point around Christmas, my friend had to physically take a pair of scissors out of my hand for fear of witnessing self-harm, a behavior I hadn’t struggled with since high school and haven’t felt again since. Again, I’m just painting the picture here. Eventually, my mother moved out. I expected things to get better, but they somehow went from bad to worse. The last argument I had with this man was so bewildering that I admitted to a mutual friend that I felt like running away. She, from what I can tell, immediately called him to tell him this. (Katie, I hope you heal and be thankful I never shared your secrets.) This led to a discussion where I admitted to wanting to be deleted from the population for months, and he broke up with me. He left the home his mom bought for us to live in to give me time to get out, and I immediately called his sister, my best friend. By the time she got there, I was done crying and had decided that him calling it off was the best thing for me. I healed, got my own place, and started working on MY life again.
Reflections on Crystals
The moonstone obviously can’t be blamed for the downfall of a toxic relationship that should have been left alone to start. However, it is an interesting correlation. All of my experiences got me thinking, do these solidified earth excretions actually hold power? So I looked around and found mostly anecdotal evidence from folks I fear don’t know the difference between science and pseudoscience. No hate or shade to them or anyone—I am, after all, a bit woo-woo. It just wasn’t the answer I was looking for; I could provide that evidence for myself. What I eventually found were excerpts from Nikola Tesla's work involving crystals and their vibrations. Tesla wasn’t working with crystals in the capacity I was, but he did seem to hold them in very high regard. Reading this work sent me down two other rabbit holes: crystals in tech, and quantum physics.
Final Thoughts
Ultimately, I decided that I like the use of crystals in spiritual and healing spaces. As with any tool or modality, I fear that there is room for abuse. Please always do your own research from reputable sources. Trust your gut. If someone is trying to sell you a $600 crystal that they SWEAR is going to fix everything, they are swindling you. On the other hand, if you are walking through a little shop and feel drawn to a crystal, let it tell you where you can shift your focus and help create the life you want to live. They are a fun and pretty addition to what you are already doing to support your mental and physical health. They may not help, but they certainly can’t hurt. So, throw them on your mantle or toss them in your window, sleep with them, meditate with them; just don’t put anything in water without checking if it is safe! Do your own research, have your own experiences, but remember intentional action and doing the inner work are always going to be what dictates your life.
I’d love to hear from you! Have you had any interesting experiences with crystals? Do you have questions about how to incorporate them into your life? Share your thoughts and questions in the comments below.
With love and compassion,
Mia Marie
Walking in Alignment: My Journey of Authentic Living
I'm someone who walks in alignment. I allow myself to follow compassion, love, truth, and intuition. Moving this way certainly isn’t for the faint of heart. The framework that currently feels most comfortable to further illustrate what I mean by alignment is the concept of the higher self. You can call it God, Spirit, Allah, Source, Creator, Universe, Gaia, Shiva, the Divine, etc. What I’ve come to understand is all of these are different ways humans have come up with to explain things that are known and felt but not yet understood. I also believe that someday quantum physics will be the most commonly accepted framework to explain these felt energies that people seek to put labels on. We are so attached to our labels. One should consider the choice to follow compassion, love, truth, and intuition as a practice, things that come easier the more we exercise them. Be gentle with yourself if you choose to embark on this path of alignment. You will make mistakes; you will be called into spaces you have never navigated to test your commitment to your path.
The Practice of Alignment
Living my life in alignment has me moving through life in ways that make me chronically misunderstood and underestimated—at best—and chronically hated at worst. My life doesn’t make sense to the average person and is terrifying to live at times. By living my life in alignment, I find myself in uncomfortable spaces, doing uncomfortable things, and making people uncomfortable. I’ve made a habit of embracing uncomfortable things like change, surrender, rejection, failure, and burning the occasional bridge—if it leads nowhere good. Unhealed versions of me would stay in relationships (super broad definition) much longer than necessary because I didn’t understand what I was bringing to the table. I was easily manipulated. I still have a tendency to allow myself to be manipulated—at least for a time, while it’s mutually beneficial. That is not to say that I see that manipulation and allow it consciously, mind you. I’m what’s called clairsentient in the spiritual community. In the field of psychology, it might be chalked up to C-PTSD pattern recognition. I know things I have no business knowing, but only when the time is right.
Understanding Manipulation and Clairsentience
Sometimes clairsentience looks like peeping such things as: this person is abusive, this person has childhood trauma preventing them from acting like an adult, this person gets off on hurting people, that person cheats on their wife, this person tries to do the right thing but is stuck in normalized cycles of toxicity, etc. The most relatable way I can explain it is in the context of workplace toxicity. We’ve all experienced it. If you have worked in corporate structures, you’ve seen it. It can look like incompetent leaders, malicious leaders, and those that are good at faking empathy because they understand that you catch more flies with honey. The latter is often found at the top, pulling the strings of the incompetent and malicious. Incompetent leaders are a danger, and I personally will not submit to someone who lacks emotional or traditional intelligence. I’ll dig deeper into the intricacies of leadership styles and ways leaders abuse their power another time, though. Today’s focus is on moving in these environments when you prioritize personal alignment.
Navigating Workplace Toxicity
Moving in alignment when you have to work to eat is difficult. This difficulty is a feature, not a bug. Just as access to healthy food and healthcare are gatekept, so is our access to life-changing knowledge that is slandered as “woo-woo.” That is not to say that all “woo-woo” is good—there are abuses of power within the spiritual spaces, too. Anytime someone tells us, “Look at me—I have all the answers,” or creates an environment where questioning “authority” is met with indifference at best or punishment at worst, we should be aware that there is high potential for abuse. Unfortunately, our society has normalized such spaces, making it hard for those of us that go against the grain, no matter how hard we try to blend in, to exist. See, because I live in alignment, I find abuses of power to be a personal offense. This is, of course, a me problem, or so I’ve been told by folks in positions of power that could change the paradigm but instead choose to uphold anti-human values.
The Cost and Reward of Alignment
I understand that there are different leadership styles; I personally can survive under a variety of them, and I am good at a few of them myself. What I can’t do is submit to people who use their position to bolster their ego. Your little middle management job doesn’t impress me when I know you beat your girlfriend, cheat on your wife, emotionally abuse your children, abuse drugs to mask unresolved trauma, or otherwise abuse people who look to you for leadership—try again. Your little title that means so much to you means absolutely nothing to someone who walks in alignment when you are abusing your power.
As such, I have found myself in professionally damaging situations over and over again. I don’t make my moves in the “correct” way, but things always work out for me. I think I might be considered somewhat of a rebel and whistleblower. I refuse to back down when a leader lacks basic skills, whether that is something like basic respect for ALL people or something more practical like at least as much knowledge about the task or project at hand as myself. I fall right in line for leaders that treat me like a person. I used to give 100% at work, but then a situation showed me that my 100% is not the same as other people's 100%. The combination of ADHD and C-PTSD made me super exploitable, and I always found myself working circles around my peers. That paradigm shifted for me when I walked out on a decent enough job over an incompetent manager that poorly abused his employees. I decided that from here on out—I give 70% at a job. This cost me a promotion recently, but it preserved my peace. Operating in an autocratic corporate structure with a bureaucratic leader that failed to see the value in a servant leadership style is, as I am writing this, my current struggle.
My next move is going to look insane to the co-workers I will leave behind soon. They will view me as weak and stupid, short-sighted. They will also experience a much higher turnover rate this year than they needed to. My GM thinks that scapegoating my previous manager as a reason I was passed over for a promotion I didn’t even really want is something he’s getting away with. My current manager, although I have no specific plans to continue a war with him, will eventually receive what he deserves, if his little coke habit doesn’t kill him first. I’m cursed with never being wrong about anybody I am not intimately involved with or people I grew up with. Sometimes I know it’s time to move on, and I’m just waiting on the next thing. Sometimes I get impatient and bulldoze my way through an obstacle, but I am always just fine.
Support your Journey
Living in alignment is a journey that, in my experience, requires support and guidance. As a wellness coach, I help individuals navigate the challenges of staying true to their values in a world that often demands conformity. Together, we develop strategies to thrive both personally and professionally. If you're feeling overwhelmed or unsure of your path, consider scheduling a wellness coaching session to start your journey towards a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Understanding the deeper energies at play in our lives can provide invaluable insights. Through self-improvement centered Tarot readings, I offer guidance to help uncover hidden truths and navigate your journey with greater clarity and confidence. These readings support personal growth and help align with your highest potential.
Book a free 30-minute coaching consultation or a Tarot reading here.
Conclusion
Living this way means that as much as I shake things up, I am always provided for. The universe puts people, opportunities, inspiration, and finances in my path when I live my authentic little life. I am always thankful for the lessons I learn in these seemingly negative paradigms; they are opportunities to grow and heal. I am also thankful for the paradigms that are put on my path as seemingly positive influences. The people that have the means and desire to help me out because who they are sees who I am. The places that healed parts of me that were broken. I’m also thankful for the validation I receive when I shake up negative paradigms and blow the whistle because I spent so much time not living my authenticity and instead trying to fit in. I would genuinely rather die than put myself into situations that thrive on manipulation and abuse.
With Love and Compassion,
Mia Marie
Beyond the Plate: Nourishing Your Inner Circle for Holistic Well-Being
Have you ever considered that the concept of "diet" extends beyond what we consume on our plates? Indeed, the idea that "you are what you eat" applies not only to food but also to: the music we listen to, the media we consume and the people we surround ourselves with. Just as we carefully choose the nutrients that fuel our bodies, we should be mindful of the influences that shape our minds and spirits. The first of these concepts that I personally focused on was the people I surround myself with.
Growing up, my mother often reminded me that we become like the five people we spend the most time with. While initially, this notion seemed unrelated to nutrition, it eventually became clear that our inner circle plays a significant role in our overall well-being. This is a concept that is spoken about as fact in psychology. Eventually I came to learn for myself that this is true: our inner circle helps shape us.
Think about it: the folks closest to us impact not only our actions but also our mindset and emotional state. If we are fed love, we learn to accept love. If we are fed fear, stress, anxiety, dysregulation and dysfunction we learn to accept fear, stress, anxiety, dysregulation and dysfunction. Just as a balanced diet nourishes our bodies (and our mental health), surrounding ourselves with positive, supportive, and uplifting people nourishes our souls. Some of us are lucky enough to have been born surrounded by people we want to be like, the rest of us have to carefully craft our circle - sometimes over decades. I was lucky enough to find at least one person that I resonated with everywhere we moved as I was growing up.
I vividly recall a friendship from my middle school years that taught me valuable lessons about emotional nourishment. This friend was unafraid to communicate her feelings and expectations, fostering a relationship built on honesty and accountability. In contrast to the toxic dynamics I witnessed at home, her friendship provided a nourishing environment where emotions were acknowledged and respected. While I very much loved and appreciated her in my life, we were torn apart by the experiences of the adults around us. I remain thankful that she was one of my five at an age where I was learning how to be a human. (And I am excited that we recently reconnected!) However, I found the most benefit in making sure one of them was me.
Nourishing our inner circle goes beyond choosing the right people, however —it also involves nurturing our relationship with ourselves. Just as we should pay attention to the quality of the food we consume, we must prioritize self-reflection and self-care. By including ourselves as one of the five people we spend the most time with, we recognize the importance of cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves. Cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves isn’t always easy or intuitive. If you have been diagnosed with CPTSD for instance, your brain likely makes this harder: sorting through the internal monologue that was never yours, unpacking the trauma (which, let’s be so fucking real - feels like reliving it), secretly - or not so secretly - hating yourself. All of which can manifest as poor diet, over-thinking, social anxiety, self-harm, poor self-talk, feeling lost, broken and like you can’t trust yourself.
This self-awareness serves as the foundation for setting boundaries and discerning which influences to invite into our lives. I found that meeting myself where I was - consistently - and wading through the decay of my soul helped me fertilize the things within myself that I wanted to grow. Just as we strive to consume wholesome foods that nourish our bodies, we should surround ourselves with relationships and experiences that nurture our growth and well-being. If our relationship with ourselves is unhealthy we can’t expect to choose relationships that are healthy. Not just our relationships with people but: food, music, TV shows, celebrity influences, nature ect.
In essence, nourishing our inner circle is about recognizing that diet isn't just what we eat—it's also about the company we keep and the influences we allow into our lives. By choosing relationships that uplift, support, and inspire us, we empower ourselves to lead fulfilling and enriching lives. Word to the wise: you can start crafting a social media experience that does this for you.
So, the next time you consider your diet, remember that it encompasses more than just food. Take a closer look at the people you surround yourself with—are they nourishing your mind, body, and soul? Just as you carefully select the ingredients for a nutritious meal, choose your inner circle with intention and mindfulness. After all, true nourishment begins from within.
With Love and Compassion,
Mia Marie
