Beyond the Plate: Media
While my peers were consuming The Kardashians and Jackass, I was learning about tarot, beginner spells, and the occult. This labeled me as weird; I was different. It was clear that I didn’t have the same priorities and values as my peers. I was also smoking, skipping class, and dating fully grown men. This was middle school, by the way. While my peers were worrying about name-brand clothing, makeup, and perfect hair, I was concerned with manifesting, communicating with the dead, and finding the love that I was desperately lacking at home. While my peers were watching Walking Dead and playing COD, I was working a full-time job, learning Excel, fractions and ethics online. (I was, of course, still trying to find love on the poisoned lips of men.) While my peers were consuming Game of Thrones, I was consuming Christianity and the history of religions. (GoT was in the last season by the time a co-worker forced me to watch it, and YES, I am glad I watched it.) I am a culmination of the media I have consumed, just like you. As a result, I have always played a part in “othering” myself by having a different perspective and different values. I have also spent so much time googling pop-culture references in an effort to fit in. “You’ve never seen insert cult classic I simply can’t believe it!” Thanks, Becky, was the 2 hours enriching? I’m never going to watch it, but since you are the third person to reference it, I will watch the clip that quote is associated with and laugh next time.
“Oh Mia, you’re sooo different. Good for you!” /s. That isn’t my point. Yes, I am different, but that was never my concern; in fact, it seemed to concern my peers more than it did me. I have always been more concerned with being comfortable in my own skin. I remember when I was in 5th grade, I did a school research paper on eating disorders. I learned a lot about bulimia and anorexia. I chose this topic because my mother and peers had been bullying me since I was in the 2nd grade about my weight. I wanted to see if an eating disorder was likely to get my mother off my back, if I’m being honest. What I found was that there was a correlation between unattainable beauty standards found in the media and eating disorders. I also found that the harm done to the body by engaging in eating disorders outweighed the harm of being overweight, almost always. Thankfully, this paper led me to understand the practices that perpetuate unattainable beauty standards and gave me a foundation to not believe every “perfect” thing I saw on the internet. I also understood that my peers were being influenced by the “perfect” models and celebrities. Many years later, I had occasion to meet a beautiful young woman who was struggling with bulimia while I was in the children's psych ward. I remember she and I spoke about her struggles, and while she was invested in all the teen magazines at the time (like books but thinner with more advertisements and pictures), the way her mother spoke about her own weight was probably the most influential. Her mother, of course, was also a victim of a society focused on unrealistic and harmful beauty standards.
I think we all know about the tricks influencers and celebrities use to appear better and perfect. Many of these celebrities and influencers will even tell you what they are using to achieve their “look,” only for it to not work for you. Maybe they’ll get you to tune in while they do a GRWM video aimed towards selling you their brand deals, or maybe they’ll sell you their workout routine, claiming you’ll have a Kim K ass, when we all know people pay for their assets. Or how about when they are selling you skincare products that are unregulated, and you have no idea what’s in them? Am I telling you not to buy makeup, skincare, or fitness stuff? No, I am asking you to be aware that almost every piece of media you engage with is designed to prop up capitalism. It is designed to sell you something. When was the last time you engaged with a piece of media and thought about the intention behind it? It’s not just products and services; it's also thoughts, ideals, and beliefs.
Mia, you are only talking about visual media, though, so my music and podcasts are safe, right? I hope you know that isn’t true. Look at how many podcasts are out there spreading harmful rhetoric. They are even selling you their thoughts and ideas. Whose ideas are you buying? Who are you tuning into? Where are they in life? How did they get there? Was it by spreading positive thoughts and ideals? Or was it by selling you fear and telling you they are the answer? Or maybe they have some real knowledge but also have some really shit takes. Or maybe the content itself is just dark and heavy. I have been consuming true crime since high school. I was traumatized by the Dahmer and Bundy atrocities while I was trying to understand serial killers long before Netflix decided to traumatize y’all with a docuseries. (I was taking college-level psych courses; it was weird but not as weird as my peers made it out to be. I still want to know who started the rumor that I had a hit list. 😂) A few years back, I was consuming a lot of true crime, like 10+ hours a day for many months, and it started to affect my mental health. It was then that I remembered my favorite YouTuber, Cayleigh Elise. For those of you that are normal, Cayleigh Elise did a lot of videos on many different things, from spooky and lore-type things to missing and murdered women, children, and Indigenous women. She is where I first learned that our Indigenous women go missing at an alarming rate. Her Jane Doe series brought attention to people that authorities had given up on. She was in this line of work for all the right reasons, but consuming hours and hours of dark content to make dark content eventually took its toll on her mental health, and she decided to leave her platform.
What about the music you listen to? How do they speak about the people you care about in your favorite songs? How are women being portrayed? How are men being portrayed? What thoughts about race are you unintentionally ingesting? Gender? Sexual identity? I was 19 when I started to notice that different music could alter the way I felt. I have always been polyjamorous, but before hearing many different genres back to back during my bar shifts, I wouldn’t have really considered it. Not only did I notice that music altered my emotional state but also that of my patrons. Of course, not every genre hits every person the same, but every person got hit by every genre. Art is supposed to make you feel something. Good artists use many tools to make you feel what they want you to feel. Everything from BPM to chords to lyrics is all designed to make you feel something. By being aware of how different genres make us feel, many of us can start taking control of our emotional well-being and our worldview.
I use rap or metal when I need to tap into rage and bluegrass when I need to tap into calm and joy. Recently, I found myself at an industrial show. A couple of the bands were pretty good, actually, but I became concerned that one of the bands I was vibing to (I can’t understand the lyrics) might have been spouting some WASP-type noise when I saw a single person in the crowd throw up a Hitler salute. I took to Google and discovered that the entire genre, and that band in particular, are often under criticism for their very pro-white-dude rhetoric. This scene is one that I have an acquaintance in, and I was telling him about the show and found out that recently, for his mental health, he had decided to switch genres and pull back on the industrial scene.
Another instance of music's impact was during a road trip with friends. We decided to create a playlist that included all our favorite songs, regardless of genre. As we drove, I noticed how the mood in the car shifted with each song. Fast-paced songs brought energy and excitement, while slower, melancholic tunes led to introspective conversations. This experience solidified my belief in the power of music to influence our emotions and interactions.
Everything we consume has a vibration. Sound, light, color—all of it is vibration and frequency. When we consider that we are more than a physical body but also an energetic body, it becomes almost natural to consider media as part of what we consume. This concept that everything is vibration can be observed in nature with the help of science. I recently came across a TikTok creator who uses a synthesizer or something and connects it to plants to allow us to hear their songs. This is part of why telling someone to go touch grass is actually such a great way to be like, “You clearly are dysregulated, please go get in touch with nature.” When we are out in nature, we are getting in touch with the various vibrations of nature. Allowing that to inform our reality makes more sense to me than allowing people who only want you for your follow, like, comment, money, etc., to inform your reality. As always, do your own research.
This became even clearer to me during my career in sales. We analyzed advertisements and marketing campaigns, breaking down the psychological tactics used to manipulate consumers. It was eye-opening to see the lengths to which companies go to sell products and the subtle ways they influence our self-perception. I learned these concepts firsthand in sales training, where understanding consumer psychology to create a sense of need and urgency was emphasized. The goal was always to close the deal, often by exploiting insecurities and desires.
Reflecting on these experiences, I realized how pervasive and powerful these techniques are. They aren't limited to commercials or product placements; they infiltrate every aspect of the media we consume. Understanding these tactics can help us become more discerning consumers and protect our mental and emotional well-being. I invite you to reflect on the media you consume daily—whether it's TV shows, music, podcasts, or social media. How does each influence your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions? Consider keeping a journal for a week to track how different forms of media impact your mood and worldview. Share your insights or any revelations you have about your media consumption journey in the comments below. Let's explore together how we can become more mindful consumers in our everyday lives.
Love,
Mia Marie
