Walking in Alignment: My Journey of Authentic Living
I'm someone who walks in alignment. I allow myself to follow compassion, love, truth, and intuition. Moving this way certainly isn’t for the faint of heart. The framework that currently feels most comfortable to further illustrate what I mean by alignment is the concept of the higher self. You can call it God, Spirit, Allah, Source, Creator, Universe, Gaia, Shiva, the Divine, etc. What I’ve come to understand is all of these are different ways humans have come up with to explain things that are known and felt but not yet understood. I also believe that someday quantum physics will be the most commonly accepted framework to explain these felt energies that people seek to put labels on. We are so attached to our labels. One should consider the choice to follow compassion, love, truth, and intuition as a practice, things that come easier the more we exercise them. Be gentle with yourself if you choose to embark on this path of alignment. You will make mistakes; you will be called into spaces you have never navigated to test your commitment to your path.
The Practice of Alignment
Living my life in alignment has me moving through life in ways that make me chronically misunderstood and underestimated—at best—and chronically hated at worst. My life doesn’t make sense to the average person and is terrifying to live at times. By living my life in alignment, I find myself in uncomfortable spaces, doing uncomfortable things, and making people uncomfortable. I’ve made a habit of embracing uncomfortable things like change, surrender, rejection, failure, and burning the occasional bridge—if it leads nowhere good. Unhealed versions of me would stay in relationships (super broad definition) much longer than necessary because I didn’t understand what I was bringing to the table. I was easily manipulated. I still have a tendency to allow myself to be manipulated—at least for a time, while it’s mutually beneficial. That is not to say that I see that manipulation and allow it consciously, mind you. I’m what’s called clairsentient in the spiritual community. In the field of psychology, it might be chalked up to C-PTSD pattern recognition. I know things I have no business knowing, but only when the time is right.
Understanding Manipulation and Clairsentience
Sometimes clairsentience looks like peeping such things as: this person is abusive, this person has childhood trauma preventing them from acting like an adult, this person gets off on hurting people, that person cheats on their wife, this person tries to do the right thing but is stuck in normalized cycles of toxicity, etc. The most relatable way I can explain it is in the context of workplace toxicity. We’ve all experienced it. If you have worked in corporate structures, you’ve seen it. It can look like incompetent leaders, malicious leaders, and those that are good at faking empathy because they understand that you catch more flies with honey. The latter is often found at the top, pulling the strings of the incompetent and malicious. Incompetent leaders are a danger, and I personally will not submit to someone who lacks emotional or traditional intelligence. I’ll dig deeper into the intricacies of leadership styles and ways leaders abuse their power another time, though. Today’s focus is on moving in these environments when you prioritize personal alignment.
Navigating Workplace Toxicity
Moving in alignment when you have to work to eat is difficult. This difficulty is a feature, not a bug. Just as access to healthy food and healthcare are gatekept, so is our access to life-changing knowledge that is slandered as “woo-woo.” That is not to say that all “woo-woo” is good—there are abuses of power within the spiritual spaces, too. Anytime someone tells us, “Look at me—I have all the answers,” or creates an environment where questioning “authority” is met with indifference at best or punishment at worst, we should be aware that there is high potential for abuse. Unfortunately, our society has normalized such spaces, making it hard for those of us that go against the grain, no matter how hard we try to blend in, to exist. See, because I live in alignment, I find abuses of power to be a personal offense. This is, of course, a me problem, or so I’ve been told by folks in positions of power that could change the paradigm but instead choose to uphold anti-human values.
The Cost and Reward of Alignment
I understand that there are different leadership styles; I personally can survive under a variety of them, and I am good at a few of them myself. What I can’t do is submit to people who use their position to bolster their ego. Your little middle management job doesn’t impress me when I know you beat your girlfriend, cheat on your wife, emotionally abuse your children, abuse drugs to mask unresolved trauma, or otherwise abuse people who look to you for leadership—try again. Your little title that means so much to you means absolutely nothing to someone who walks in alignment when you are abusing your power.
As such, I have found myself in professionally damaging situations over and over again. I don’t make my moves in the “correct” way, but things always work out for me. I think I might be considered somewhat of a rebel and whistleblower. I refuse to back down when a leader lacks basic skills, whether that is something like basic respect for ALL people or something more practical like at least as much knowledge about the task or project at hand as myself. I fall right in line for leaders that treat me like a person. I used to give 100% at work, but then a situation showed me that my 100% is not the same as other people's 100%. The combination of ADHD and C-PTSD made me super exploitable, and I always found myself working circles around my peers. That paradigm shifted for me when I walked out on a decent enough job over an incompetent manager that poorly abused his employees. I decided that from here on out—I give 70% at a job. This cost me a promotion recently, but it preserved my peace. Operating in an autocratic corporate structure with a bureaucratic leader that failed to see the value in a servant leadership style is, as I am writing this, my current struggle.
My next move is going to look insane to the co-workers I will leave behind soon. They will view me as weak and stupid, short-sighted. They will also experience a much higher turnover rate this year than they needed to. My GM thinks that scapegoating my previous manager as a reason I was passed over for a promotion I didn’t even really want is something he’s getting away with. My current manager, although I have no specific plans to continue a war with him, will eventually receive what he deserves, if his little coke habit doesn’t kill him first. I’m cursed with never being wrong about anybody I am not intimately involved with or people I grew up with. Sometimes I know it’s time to move on, and I’m just waiting on the next thing. Sometimes I get impatient and bulldoze my way through an obstacle, but I am always just fine.
Support your Journey
Living in alignment is a journey that, in my experience, requires support and guidance. As a wellness coach, I help individuals navigate the challenges of staying true to their values in a world that often demands conformity. Together, we develop strategies to thrive both personally and professionally. If you're feeling overwhelmed or unsure of your path, consider scheduling a wellness coaching session to start your journey towards a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Understanding the deeper energies at play in our lives can provide invaluable insights. Through self-improvement centered Tarot readings, I offer guidance to help uncover hidden truths and navigate your journey with greater clarity and confidence. These readings support personal growth and help align with your highest potential.
Book a free 30-minute coaching consultation or a Tarot reading here.
Conclusion
Living this way means that as much as I shake things up, I am always provided for. The universe puts people, opportunities, inspiration, and finances in my path when I live my authentic little life. I am always thankful for the lessons I learn in these seemingly negative paradigms; they are opportunities to grow and heal. I am also thankful for the paradigms that are put on my path as seemingly positive influences. The people that have the means and desire to help me out because who they are sees who I am. The places that healed parts of me that were broken. I’m also thankful for the validation I receive when I shake up negative paradigms and blow the whistle because I spent so much time not living my authenticity and instead trying to fit in. I would genuinely rather die than put myself into situations that thrive on manipulation and abuse.
With Love and Compassion,
Mia Marie
